Dear Snooty Woman

Yes you. The one with the immaculate hair, the newly manicured nails and the on-trend coat. Yes you. The one who felt she had some God-given right to look down her snooty nose and sneer at me and my wonderful children.

I don’t know anything about you, and you sure as hell don’t know anything about us. Granted I didn’t have a new manicure or immaculate hair. My coat was more ‘keep out the pissing rain’ than designer label and there is not a lot of point trying to wield a swanky umbrella when you have two small hands to hold.
I saw that look in your eyes – ‘poor stay at home mum who has lost her way and let herself go’. Well for your information this ‘poor stay at home mum’  has a great life thank you very much. Oh – and if you’re wondering, yes, I can afford to shop in Laura Ashley too if I want to, but the woman who works in there has an attitude just like yours so quite frankly, I choose not to.

Yes, I was wearing standard issue jeans and hoodie and my hair scraped back, and why? Because I was out and about with three kids and we were getting shit done. Lots of it. Hair-cuts for school, uniforms, presents for a birthday and something nice to wear for the very rare occasion when my husband and I try to remind ourselves of the days when we walked out of the door looking glamorous on a regular basis. But even then, back in the day, I never looked at someone like you looked at me.

And do you know something? I never looked at people like you looked at me because I didn’t feel some overriding superiority. I used to have the bank account and high heels, the high-flying job and a disposable income. But here’s the difference between you and me; I didn’t feel the need to look down my nose at someone who was busy running a family and keeping small people alive and happy. I looked at those people and smiled. Smiled because they were the ones who had it all. No matter how tough, how fucking hard work, how relentless and dispiriting sometimes, I wouldn’t swap my life for yours in a million years.

My youngest daughter, the cute little button with glasses and a sticky face, I could see you grimacing. She had a sticky face because she is so freakin’ awesome and had earned herself a big sticky treat! She works her little butt off to be good and try hard at school and she has been a little bloody gem this week. She makes me laugh until I cry and hugs me until it hurts. I hope you find someone who does the same for you.

And did you notice what my lovely kids did when you sneered at them? When you looked down your high and mighty nose at them? They smiled at you. I also noticed your little double take when you heard our well-spoken voices and nice manners. You know nothing about us. Nothing at all. We could teach you a thing or two.

So, take your judgemental attitude home in your valeted car. Save your attitude for someone else.

And if I have misjudged you then I apologise. If you have people at home who make your face ache with smiling and your heart full then I am happy for you. But, if you genuinely think you are better than us you are mistaken. You have a smaller mind, a less generous heart, a weaker personality and a more shallow outlook.

I hope you look back on yourself in future years and cringe as you remember the person you were today. For your sake, I really hope so.




  1. Reply

    Mrs Jibril

    September 14, 2017

    You’re doing a great job as a mum you don’t need anyone’s approval or validation, your kids are your biggest cheerleaders and fans. #coolmumclub

    • Reply


      September 25, 2017

      I really appreciate your lovely comment – and yes, my kids are amazing!

  2. Reply


    September 14, 2017

    Argh what is it about these snooty women??! I had a snooty woman tut at my daughter and I on the tube the other day and it vexed me so… what do people know about you or your situation they should be ashamed of themselves for judging like that! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely you have my full support on this one! xoxo

    • Reply


      September 14, 2017

      Thanks Talya – mostly I let it all wash over me but when it comes to the kids….

  3. Reply


    September 16, 2017

    Haha event when I had the job and disposable income I never looked immaculate 😉

    • Reply


      September 17, 2017

      Neither was I (well not often anyway)

  4. Reply


    September 18, 2017

    I encounter people like this all the time and it makes me sad. Not for myself, but for their future children having such judgemental parents.

    • Reply


      September 18, 2017

      You’re absolutely right – it makes you wonder what kind of people their children will grow up to be x